Microdosing on Joy

We are confronted by so much, every day of life; among community, with people; life in general is confrontation.

We are confronted by sadness, addiction, death, the power of human beings for bad, illness, frailty, our own vulnerability and mortality. If it is not our immediate experience, we see it in others. This rollercoaster of life, a veritable smorgasbord of crap.

For those of us who are lucky in this world, in the arbitrary doling out of good, we get to experience some of the great wonders of this world, love, companionship, family, adoration, kindness, community, the kiss of a tiny baby. If any of these ring a bell, just do a little fist pump in the air for me - you have been blessed! A part of our role, perhaps we didn’t know, is to hold on tight to the good stuff, like really tight, they are uniquely and wonderfully precious. The temptation is not to see the good or to only want more but our one job is to see it, to say: ‘הוֹדוּ לַה” כִּי־טוֹב’, ‘praise Be, I got it good!’

I watched a TV show this week, Gordon Ramsey, ‘Banged Up’…it’s a series filmed in 2012 about a team of prisoners in Brixton Prison who open a business with the famous TV chef. It is priceless, partly because it reflects a lot of the challenges and realities faced in prison today. I am a serving prison chaplain and it feels like, even if set ten years ago, this is a show that reflects the reality of prison life. Mr Ramsey was trying to shift the dial on prisoner life and prospects, giving these men a trade and something to aspire to.

I was in Liverpool this week, a city that has perhaps seen better days. I walked past someone on the streets who was high, like very very high, about to keel over, and as I walked on by, I vaguely noticed that there were people around him who had his back. What does it take for us to walk on by, how do we grow numb, how do we develop a shell of separation from the sadness and strife of the world outside. What would our society look like if at every moment of suffering we just stopped and took care of those most vulnerable. Society would be at a complete standstill but would it recover into a place of nurture, of simple acts of kindness and care? We might grow in our own strength and capacity to hold people where they are.

I dream of being a person that could open my heart to all of the suffering I see. 

Our Torah is full of inner contradictions; on one hand, Ki Teitzei, a feast of total repugnance, stuff of slavery, of misogyny, legal concepts that we might be able to get behind but written in tones that totally oppose a 21st Century humanitarian, just take on the world. But at its very core, in the intimate layers of the parsha…

‘לֹא־תִקַּח הָאֵם עַל־הַבָּנִים’, ‘do not take the mother together with her young’ [DEUT 22:6], protect the tiny little bird, don’t permit the greatest cruelty to animals. 

‘גְּדִלִים תַּעֲשֶׂה־לָּךְ עַל־אַרְבַּע כַּנְפוֹת כְּסוּתְךָ אֲשֶׁר תְּכַסֶּה־בָּהּ’, ‘You shall make tassels on the four corners of the garment with which you cover yourself’ [DEUT 22:12], a nod to those who wear talit or Tzitsit, Jewish garb, that in the simplest ways that we get dressed in the morning we can make connection to our creator, our sense of self and our desire towards devotion. 

‘לֹא תְאַחֵר לְשַׁלְּמוֹ’, ‘Do not put it off’ [DEUT 23:22], a teaching of urgency, here related to when you have made a holy vow but connecting us to the utter importance of doing it today, saying “I love you”, “I’m sorry”, making an effort, reaching out to a friend, helping someone, simply doing it, grabbing life urgently, life is short.

I met a woman this week, we will call her Bobby, a nurse on a ward where I was visiting a friend very unwell in recent years, and we exchanged notes on how this person had been getting on. She has been a nurse on this ward for the elderly and those with dementia for more than 5 years, and she showed such kindness, such care, such sensitivity to the needs of her patients. That is the care I am aiming for.

Every single day is confronting, each day we might try and shield our eyes from that which reminds us of the bad, of the tough, of the ‘real’. Some of us go to great lengths. But if we are able, this is ‘Staring at the Sun’ (Irvin Yalom), facing our mortality and frailty and nevertheless, offering kindness, care, love and cherishing absolutely these holy moments. This is our Torah, the transformation of the utterly mundane day to day into the sacred. 

As we approach the Jewish New Year, a brutal and unrelenting year, these are acts of strength, of resilience and power. From moment to moment, stepping out of the game and into spirit.

A NOTE TO YOU – this New Year is beginning at a pace. We are building new projects, bringing rich, passionate Jewish life to you – a Judaism which is accessible and non-judgmental, a Jewish life which is uplifting and meets you where you are at. I would relish your help, if you want to help me fundraise or have some great programme ideas or have some slick thoughts on our social media outreach. Drop me a line – hello@oliverspikejoseph.com